Thomas and Anxiety - Not always the bad guy

This will be a Long post: about my Anxiety and a bit on Thomas’ Anxiety in the Sander side vids.
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I believe having Anxiety can be a pain in the ass. I get anxiety attacks on almost a daily basis when dealing with different kind of situations, but at the same time its also a grounding feeling. Grounding like earth itself has landed on your back, yeah… but grounding.
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Why? It keeps you sharp.
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For me my anxiety is a way to coop with my distrust for people. In my life I have been cheated on, used, abused, mentally, physically and sexually. It was to much for a pre-teen who had no parental contact with her parents. Panic attacks occurred daily, days without social contact and sudden rage fits happened and all I heard was, stop being so Anxious about everything.
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It made me hate that side of me. But me being around people made me nauseous, until.. I met the right friends. I learned how to not see my anxiety as a burden but as a firewall. I had picked up a knick or two on reading people and their intentions in their body-language, the way the spoke or the way their eyes would look at you. Which eased my mind and body.
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It took me many years, but I learned to accept this side of me. Seeying ThomasSanders’s videos where Anxiety is struggling with his Anxiety is once again grounding. He is an Edgelord, most definitely, yes.. But he is also that person who points out that change can be good, but not to fast. Travel all you want, discover new places and people, but keep contact with what is familiar. He is not trying to be the villain, he is actually looking out for the others. He is snarky, but secretly he is sweet and caring.
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Watching the “Making some changes” episode (for me its an episode from the best show ever, sshhh) gave me a punch in the gut and made me love all the many sides of me even more.
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